Thursday, August 5, 2010

Not everyday is made of rainbows and sunshine

I have been having some deep, tender thoughtful conversations with a few mom's in my life that inspire me. As of late the topic has touched upon the less then joy filled moments we experience on this raw and authentic journey of unschooling in a most radical sense.

It can feel somewhat isolating at times, when blog post after blog post oozes on about the joy, the delight and the wonder of this path and you have had days on end of well shittiness.  The wondering, we got up to was about those in the trenches blog posts that talk about our far from perfect moments when connections and joy are not the results of our actions.

I will openly admit that it seems I have just as many of those days as I have of the wonderful connected chasing down our passions with pure and utter joy days. However, I am less inclined to share with the world via my blog about my short comings. I would say, the reason isn't cause I want you all to think I am the uber ultra perfect unschooling moma, it is more likely that I seriously don't feel motivated to write when I am at my wits end. And I also think, that for me, in those darker days, my blog is a place/space I can come to in order to re-motivate and inspire myself, kind of like a remember when or a look there is evidence that this too shall pass.

Which I realize is less then helpful for folks who are looking to hear or know that they are not alone on this big emotion roller coaster that is unschooling in the most radical means of the journey. Cause ripping off those layers of old thought patterns to discover the parent we truly wish to be with our children can truly take us down to the deepest darkest recesses of the yuckiest things we experienced in life and sometimes it is hard to see that there will ever be a light at the end of the tunnel let alone catch a glimpse of the afore mentioned light.

As this post meanders before me, I am not truly sure of it's purpose. Perhaps to simply say, hey off line lots of folks are noticing that this journey ain't always joy filed and that living freely with a whole house full of wants and needs can be exhausting and exasperating in the newest and most challenging of ways. And perhaps is is also the beginning of more posts that will see me crawling to the computer after those heart wrenching days, to remind folks that we are not alone especially when the the moon is not shining out of our behinds.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I'm going through the same thinking over at my blog. I've decided to become more authentic in my blogging, both as a way for me to acknowledge that side of myself, and to show my readers that I have challenges as well.

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  2. "I would say, the reason isn't cause I want you all to think I am the uber ultra perfect unschooling moma, it is more likely that I seriously don't feel motivated to write when I am at my wits end. And I also think, that for me, in those darker days, my blog is a place/space I can come to in order to re-motivate and inspire myself, kind of like a remember when or a look there is evidence that this too shall pass."

    That passage nailed it for me. I recently did write about one of those not so stellar weeks http://tiny.cc/h9plu. I think it's okay to compartmentalize a bit. I've also often considered having another blog for my more ranty side. Again, though, I think what you wrote above is it, for me. I look to my blog to get myself re-inspired and motivated. While I've certainly written about challenges, I think having that corner of our lives that we can cultivate is also okay. Nice post.

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