Sunday, August 30, 2009

Thought upon a conversation

I was blessed this past weekend to be steeped in meaningful conversation. One conversation in particular left me thinking, wondering and BLOGGING.

The gist of the conversation, was about life, what we are striving for and desiring toward. The idea or thought of, "but I haven't done much," came up. In the moment I had little to say. However, as is often the case, upon reflection, I had plenty to say. The world around me is often measured, summed up on this idea of what people have done. Folks have to do lists, bucket lists and accomplished lists. The large majority of these lists include activities, achievements, adventures. I buy in to this and as a result spend moments feeling like, "I sure haven't done much lately, best get back to that list and get going."

To jump to a parallel thought, my father died at 62, rather suddenly and in most opinions too early. This experience has truly left me to ponder this thing called life and how I go about living it. When I watch my father's memory slip in to the past, the only truly tangible thing left behind is the love he shared with others. This leaves me to wonder, and often suspect, that the only thing that truly lives on beyond our physical existence are the moments we spend loving.

With this thought, I examine my life's inventory to include such items as holding the hand of a dying man, catching a new born child, loving with out conditions, embracing a weeping woman, smiling at a stranger and then perhaps I will have more freedom to be present to that which is alive in each moment that presents itself to me.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Integral consciousness

During a workshop that introduced me to the idea's brought forth in the book Integral consciousness, some new thoughts began to blossom. When we stand in our own group, our own ideal of what we know, defining our lifestyle with a title, whatever that may, we run the risk of taking on an attitude of elitism. I am a self proclaimed Radical unschooler. In naming this, in being this I must consciously keep my mind open to those who proclaim to be something else. I must bring my awareness to the moments when I look upon others with judgement, the times when I operate from a "my way is the way," place. For me, without this awareness, I potentially close the door to knowing others who walk a path different then mine. I miss the opportunity to meet someone where they are at in their own journey and quietly walk by their side noticing subtle differences that can potentially teach me a little more about myself. Whether that learning confirms my current values or shifts something internally that brings forth a new level of consciousness, the inherent value lies in being present to what is alive, in each human I encounter in any given moment.